Header picture: Picture by Anna from Pixabay
In the present day looks as if a dreary day in want of brightening, so I believed I’d publish one thing from my fiction writing archive, which I wrote in *checks notes* 2016.
Ozymanthus
My identify is Ozymanthus McCavity Mousebane III, though for causes of expediency I additionally reply to ‘Mr Wiggles’. I’m Grasp of a small property, centred on No. 45 Foxglove Terrace. In these occasions of austerity my wants are met by only one servant, a person I seek advice from solely as The Gardener. For some motive the opposite People on this locality seek advice from him as Half Fur, however he has reached some extent in his life the place he has nearly no fur in any respect. Nonetheless, The Gardener is totally able to offering meals on demand, heating the sitting room to an applicable temperature and even soothing ruffled fur when required. He’s not a lot of a nurse, however when wants should he turns chauffeur and transports me to a health care provider who’s greater than able to patching up my battle wounds and tending to my little infirmities.
He really comes into his personal, as one may count on, within the backyard. He tends this little nook of my area with my wants uppermost in his thoughts, though I do condescend to permit him just a little area to develop vegetation for his personal use. I don’t totally perceive his attachment to them, however they appear to fulfill his wants and maintain him comfortable, and subsequently relieve me of the burden of involving myself in these issues.
This winter has been lengthy and dreary and interminably damp. These elements have precipitated me to be largely an indoor cat, preserving to the fireplace and never patrolling my estates, as is my behavior within the drier seasons. The enforced inactivity weighs on my soul, and I discover it onerous to even elevate myself from the sofa.
In an effort to raise my ennui, The Gardener has procured a brand new supply of leisure for me, to whereas away the watery hours. In yesterday’s drizzle he went exterior to put a chicken feeder within the backyard, the place I can see it from my spot on the chaise. I used to be unimpressed at first, nevertheless it seems to have been a stroke of Machiavellian genius. Crammed with low-cost and inedible seeds, the feeder attracts birds from miles round! Simply watching them flit out and in, fully oblivious to my presence, has introduced again my urge for food.
As soon as the birds are fully snug with the brand new feeder, I shall place myself on the mat contained in the doorways, and they’ll additionally turn out to be accustomed to my presence. Then, when the climate improves, they are going to come to my claws like lambs to the slaughter. I shall feast on their entrails, and depart their feathers as a reward for The Gardener, in order that he is aware of his reward pleases me. Within the meantime, I’ll let him tempt me with just a little salmon, after which attend to sharpening my claws on his knees.
Except in any other case acknowledged, © Copyright Emma Doughty 2025. Revealed on theunconventionalgardener.com.
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